Preparing For the Empty Nest

I have found myself in a brand new situation in life, and as much as I tried to prepare myself for this time, I'm not certain that it was possible to have prepared enough.  I find myself on the doorstep of an empty nest.  There are no more children in our home who really need me in the way a mother gets used to being needed.  My daughter, the last born of our three children, will be getting married this summer. I have looked forward to this special day in her life for twenty-seven years; but now that it's here, I must be honest and tell you that I have shed many tears just thinking about her absence from our lives as we have known it.  There has never been a daughter born that has brought more joy to her parents, than our dear Cherith has.   There are no words to describe what she has meant to us.  She has been beyond a pleasure to us and never once has she brought heartache or grief!  When God gave her to us, He put the frosting on an already delicious cake. 

As we quickly approach the inevitable time when we give our "baby" over to this new love in her life, we will do it with great peace and gratefulness to the Lord for how He so adequately answered our prayers for our dear girl.  Though tears may run down our faces on that beautiful day in August when she says "I do", we will also be thanking God for His Good Hand in guiding us to the right man.

As a mom, I've made some hard transitions in the last six months.  I am learning to trust and lean even more on my Lord, as I pray for her replacement in the ministries she has so ably served alongside us in.   What a wonderful life it has been to serve our Lord together with such a willing and eager helper in the ministry. Her music, in our home and in our church will be sorely missed.  Not because it is accomplished and well done…. (although it is), but it will be missed because of the spirit and the manner in which she serves the Lord with the piano and violin.  My heart drinks in the sound of every song that is played in our home and in our church, for I know that in the next 7 months….there will be no more.  She will go out to follow God's will for her life…and this mother (and a Daddy who hides it well), will miss her more than words can express.

But let me tell you about the guy who is taking her away from us!!

Five months ago, in one of my despairing moments, I started to write what I called, "My Reasons to Rejoice".  I was trying desperately to "think on these things" (Philippians 4:8) and not to allow myself to fall into the pit of despair over the approaching loss of one baby bird from the Shaffer nest.   The other day, I looked again at what I had written and found yet, another reason to rejoice! 

My future son-in-law, Joshua, feels the Lord is leading him to preach the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.  In God's economy, it doesn't get any better than that!  That's a reason to rejoice!  My daughter will be a pastor's wife sometime down the road.  It's a privilege afforded just a few…and I will pray for her.  She is eager and willing to help him in this endeavor and she is not running away from this work that he feels called to.  She knows the joys and difficulties of this life work and she is eager still to be his helper. That's a reason to rejoice!

My good son-in-law to be has blessed me already by asking if he could call me "Mom".  That was his choice and my love for him grew even more, because he cared to do that one small endearing thing.  That's another reason to rejoice!    My husband and I prayed about a young man for Cherith that had already been treating his own mother with dignity and respect.  How he reverences his own mother is a sign of how he will treat a wife.   What peace there is in knowing that our daughter will be in good hands!  Isn't the Lord just so good?!   Yet….another reason to rejoice!

Another amazing attribute about Josh is that he likes to cook!  Now that is something I could get used to!   It's so fun to have him over and turn my kitchen over to him and Cherith.  It's not long before the aroma of "something Asian" will be coming from my kitchen….and I didn't have to make it!  That is definitely reason to rejoice!


Something else I love about this future son-in-law of mine is the fact that he has made the decision to love our daughter and no one else!  Our Josh-- is a one-woman man!

He gave his first bouquet of flowers to our Cherith and she received her first bouquet of flowers from a man…from him!   How good is that!!   The first kiss for both of them will be with each other…on their wedding day.   Yes! That is reason to rejoice!

Although the nest on Franklin Ave. will be emptier, my good husband and I are doing our best to focus on what God has given us and not on what we are losing.  Yes, the nest will feel strange and lonely for a while and we will miss the daily communications and time spent with our dear girl.  We will miss her help and sweet spirit in the work of the Lord here, but ….we will also have our ears tuned in to hear the distant strains of two blessed and precious young people, enjoying the blessing of the Lord, as they make beautiful music for Him ….together!  That's reason to rejoice!!